Setting the scene
Lessons on leaving a situation
Decline and stay close: leaving a situation lesson
Real moments. A few choices. Words that work.
Move closer to a friend and say you are staying with your group. Practice the moment in a short Surefoot lesson.
Practice lessons
You chose
Recommended
Your next step
Words you can use
Add a ride option to my planListen
Uses your browser’s built-in voices. Depending on the voice, your browser may process speech on your device or online.
Transcript
Lesson video
0:00 / 0:00
Tap an answer, drag the card left or right, or use the arrow keys.
Read this lesson as text
You are at an off-campus party with your friends when someone you just met asks you to leave the group and go somewhere private with them. You would rather stay with your group.
A person you just met says, “Come with me upstairs real quick,” but you’d rather stay with your group. What do you do next?
What is a useful next step?
- Stay with your group and decline. Move closer to a friend if they keep pushing.
- Go with them because they seemed nice or confident.
Recommended
Stay with your group and decline. Move closer to a friend if they keep pushing.
You do not need to accuse them or justify your choice. If you want to stay with your friends, stay where you feel comfortable and decline the invitation with a simple line. If they keep pushing, move closer to a friend and ask them to stay with you. Being interested in someone does not mean you have to be alone with them.
Your next step
Move closer to a friend and say you are staying with your group.
Words you can use
“I’m staying with my friends.”
Questions about “Decline and stay close”
Why is it helpful to stay with your group when someone asks you to go somewhere private?
Staying with your group helps you keep your surroundings comfortable and maintain support while declining an invitation you do not want to accept.
An invitation is never an obligation, and being interested in someone does not mean you have to be alone with them. Remaining near friends gives you immediate backup and keeps you in a setting you choose if the person continues to push your boundaries.
Source: RAINN
What can you say to decline going somewhere private without making it awkward?
You can decline clearly without justifying your choice by saying, "I'm staying with my friends."
You do not need to accuse the person or offer a long explanation to set a boundary. Using a simple, direct line keeps your choice clear while letting you stay where you feel comfortable.
Source: RAINN
What should you do if the person keeps pushing after you say no?
Move closer to a friend right away and ask your friend to stay with you if the person keeps pushing.
Shifting toward people you trust helps interrupt pressure and reinforces your decision to remain where you are. If you ever feel unsafe or face an immediate emergency, call 911.
Source: RAINN
Why should you not go somewhere private just because the person seems nice or confident?
You should not leave your group just because someone seems nice or confident, because charm does not replace your right to set boundaries.
Going somewhere private under pressure can put you in an uncomfortable or unsafe situation. You always get to decide what setting feels right for you regardless of how confident the other person acts.
How can you help a friend who feels uncomfortable after being pressured at a party?
Reassure your friend that they did nothing wrong and stay by their side so they do not have to handle the situation alone.
Check in with them away from the person who pressured them and support whatever choice they make about staying or leaving the party. If an emergency is happening, call 911 immediately.
Last updated October 12, 2026.